Taking the path of most resistance... one step at a time...

My new geeky guilty pleasure.

A venti ice water from Starbucks (which they give you free when you ask, it helps take of a little of the sting away when I think about the price of their coffee:)

This is honestly the best filtered water I have tasted in a long time. They must make their ice from it too... they use reverse osmosis filtration.

The first time I asked for water it was really good... and I am not a water kinda gal... it was crisp, bright and no funky flavors. Just really good water. I didn't think much of it. But as I have asked for a water from Starbucks to Starbucks across the Midwest. and in every airport I have been in over the last 4 months (which is SEVERAL)... it is remarkably consistent.

Tastes good and good for you!

Yum... Try some!

I brought the rose in, anticipating snow and freezing temperatures. Can't wait to see what they do next year!

Happy Thanksgiving All! The rain and cold have kept the kids in. So far we are all alive. LOL.



This is my latest piece. It is still drying and awaiting grout. I have to say I am a little proud that I could create something that looked like what I was aiming for... You can still see the mosaic glue is opaque. This will go completely clear in about 3-7 days depending on external forces (temperature, humidity, tiles, etc). I use Weldbond and it really seems to hold, even with the heat of a candle. I think I will stay away from silicone glue for now.

Well the rose has gotten even pinker... I think we are due for a really cold snap... so with that and lack of sunshine I don't think the rose is going to open... but it was nice to see the plants are thriving.

The girls are off from school this week. They will help me cook for Thanksgiving and start making some Christmas gifts... they know with my work changes that we are going to treat the holiday differently... focusing on making things and giving rather than getting.

Small Thanksgiving, but I am looking forward to cooking all the things that remind me of childhood. I know I could get creative and kick it up a notch... but that would not be tradition for me or give my girls a sense of history. Although we are going to make the stuffing in muffin tins this year. That way everyone gets crunchy and moist.

Whirlwind work trip to Jacksonville Florida. I did not even see any of it in daylight. Arrived at 4:30pm Friday and left at 5:00am Saturday morning for the airport. It was a good trip, and I hope the parents I was teaching the infusion pump felt the same.

A little work this week... but for the most part I can spend time with the kids. I have ordered more tiles for my mosaics and the finished products are turning out really well, considering I have not done it before. The hurricane I finished looks beautiful with a candle inside.

Roasting some "clearance" eggplant I got at Meijer yesterday... making some baba ganouj. Emma and Lauren like hummus, so I am hoping they like this.

My first homegrown rose... ever... I planted 3 hybrid rose bushes in the front yard. Early Fall planting. They seem to have acclimated nicely and one bush even had 2 buds on it when it arrived. I had thought with the stress of shipping and replanting that they would just fall off.

Nope... here we are... November 14th... and it is deciding to go for it and bloom. Gorgeous off white petals with a nice pink blush... so excited.

Fingers crossed they weather as predicted through the Winter! And then I can what the other plants will do!

Last weekend I took a yoga class. Bikram Hot style yoga. I felt inept and cumbersome and certainly by no means flexible (my boobs kept getting in the way, along with the rest of my body for that matter)... but I stayed in the 95-100 degree room the entire time and focused as intently as I could through each pose. Looking at yourself in a huge ballet mirror as you are sweating like a pig... it was a little distracting... BUT... I loved it... it was hard... it was hot... it was exhausting... but I felt amazing afterwards... mentally/emotionally... I can eaasily see the addiction... the gnawing insecurity and uncertainty that I am not a lithe willowy pretzel will just have to go the f*ck away!

I then drove to Cincinnati the next day for business... slept in a hotel bed and woke up with a pinched nerve in my back... Drove back to Chicago last night... was achy this morning... but am going to make myself go back to yoga tomorrow... even if I can't do the poses... I can be there... and work on that inner focus and stillness.

Florida Friday for work... back Saturday... My friends Laurie and Fosetine are going to meet me Sunday for yoga.

I have not posted in awhile. Lots going on. More than I want at times. My infusion pharmacy was closed down. And while I have not blogged on what I do. Suffice it to say. I put a lot of hard work into getting it up and running (as did my partner) but the owners had other ideas on "time lines" for success. Found a per diem position right away, but it has not brought in the hours I had hoped for. And with no severance, I am a little stressed. But trying to be okay with it all, hoping (and praying) that it will work out for the best... closed door... open window and all... and if the per diem parlays into a full time spot, I really think I will enjoy it.

The kids had a fun Halloween. Not as busy as it has been in the past, but good weather. For me it was great. I got to be a room mother for Lauren's first grade party. Something, due to work, I had never been able to do before. I am hoping that I can do that for the girls more often. I enjoyed it.

Daylight savings. Dark by 5:15 tonight. Winter is coming. Time to get into that mindset.


I have been experimenting with mosaics. I have completed 2 pieces and am working on a 3rd. It relaxes me. And I think as I do more, I will feel bolder about trying "new" things with the tiles.

Got a pinch collar, at a friends suggestion, for Bella. And it makes walks much more enjoyable. Although she has some new behaviors now which include practically yodeling when we approach another dog. Eventually she relaxes and will even sit, but without the training collar, she would tear my shoulders up.

Thinking I am going to try a yoga class. I know the kids would love a "calmer" more centered me. And while I think the new job will be great. The driving and traveling might prove to be a little draining. So I will keep you posted on how Bikram Hot Yoga treats me :)

Summer is gone. And the girls are back to school. First grade for Lauren and Fifth grade for Emma... Emma seems excited and has started writing her stories again. Lauren got a "warm fuzzy" her first full week for good behavior. Go figure. We have had a couple nice days... with evening temperatures that tell me Fall will be here soon enough. It was a very hot sticky Summer and I am ready for foliage and Halloween and baking. Bella likes the cooler days too. She sprawls on the deck at dusk enjoying the cool air. Keeping all potential trespassers out of her yard... this includes cats and squirrels!


Brad's tomatoes are getting bigger and bigger,but still are green
as can be. Hopefully some nice red ones before the first frost. I had dehydrated some tomato slices about a month or so ago and we put them in garlic and olive oil and put them on a pizza. Luscious and rich, the flavor really magnified. I want to do some
more. maybe roma tomatoes.


Up to this point I do not think I have ever had "real" Korean food. I mean, sure, I know the flavors... soy, fish sauce, garlic, sesame oil, chili sauce, ginger etc... but I had never gone to a restarant. Friday Khalil, my work partner, and I went out for lunch. We chose this little Korean place around the corner and Khalill got kimchi and rice. Which I thought would be disgusting. The idea of kimchi always making me a little squeamish. It came out sizzling in a stone bowl and smelled amazing. Having flavors and textures that made me wiggle in my chair and hum as I tasted it. It was so good. When I got back to work, I called Brad to tell him how awesome it was. I must have said it several times...

Saturday I was still thinking about how surprisingly good I found kimchi and the rice that had crisped to the bottom of the stone bowl.

Sunday Brad and I were out and went into a really nice Asian market, catering to Chinese, Japanses and Korean. They had the stone bowls or "dol sots". So I bought one and we proceeded to get the ingredients needed for the dish... Dol Sot Bi Bim Bap or a stone bowl with rice and other veggies and meats.

We got Korean Black Glutinous rice... which when cooked is a gorgeous indigo. Came home and put the dol sot in the oven to get it piping hot. I made a spicy ground pork with ginger and chili sauce and soy, chopped up some kimchi, steamed some bean sprouts and julienned carrot and radish slices.



When the dol sot was hot, I put a little toasted sesame oil in the bottom and the rice... it began to sizzle immediately. Then in a circle I put the pork, the kimchi I had warmed up, the sprouts and the carrots over the rice. Topping that with a fried egg.




We at it with soy and white vinegar. And it was incredible for a first go pulling it from my head.

The rice gets crusty and caramelizes
to the bottom of the stone bowl.
Yummy and crunchy... tasting
so good with a little vinegar
and the chili garlic heat of the kimchi.
I will definitely do it again. And now
feel confident enough to
experiment a little more next time.
A very good $25 investment
in the stone bowl. I think the kids
will like it too...
Brad said over and over
how delicious he though it was.
Which made me happy.

Oh and Emma and Lauren are having a good time with their father... although Lauren says she has not eaten "enough" Irish breakfast and seemed pretty put out that people had the audacity to serve her cereal. Emma says "too much shopping" but fun!

So... since the girls are in Ireland
with their father...
who else can I focus on....

Bella...

I was worried about Bella this week since her sisters were not trapezing in and out and her days would be soooooooo long and lonely....

So I thought about it and created a barrier from the kitchen to the rest of the house using a baby gate... then placing the step stool, wine rack and vacuum (which she is terrified of) in front of that... day 1... I am in a panic at work wondering what she has done to the kitchen left to her own devices. .. as it turns out... I arrive home that evening and she did not even hear me enter the house... calling out to her... she sleepily emerges from her open crate... a day of figuring out how to empty her Kong of her "cookies" obviously mentally exhausting her....

At any rate... she has been allowed access to the kitchen every day for the last week and has done beautifully... earning herself Frosty Paws for her good behavior.... and of course Kongs filled with "cookies".

Over the weekend we brought her to Quigley's... an Irish pub and restaurant with an outdoor patio that allows dogs. I was a tense wreck... waiting for her to drag me across the patio in order to eat a "snack dog" or chastise a middle aged men (whom for some reason she has issues with)... but all in all she was pretty good...

Then of course she blew it by snarling at all those who dared think they could drink from the dog drinking fountain she was guarding by the river in downtown Naperville.... little snot!

What can I say... I adore her... in all her bitchy Rottie ways... Brad calls her "Tank"... which is really quite perfect...

The girls leave for Ireland on Friday for a little over two weeks. I know this will be the longest Lauren has been away from me. Emma, I think, spent 2 weeks at my mom's . It will be hard either way. They are very excited though. Being good Irish children they love their black and white pudding, rashers and sausage. The smoked salmon and good black tea with milk get their nods as well. The rainbows.

Nervous about them flying so far away from me, but can't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures when they return.

Bella will miss her "sisters". Particularly her Emma. I guess she will have to suffer me. And we will take some walks and curl up on the couch watching movies together. I will have to look for dog movies!! Or maybe just Animal Planet?

I have been bad. I should have written something about the trip last week. California was nice. Hot the first couple days (really hot) and then we had a nice mild breezy day for the bar-b-que. It was good to see my mother. The girls really enjoyed her pool. They were in it the 4 days more than they were out of it. Lauren made great strides and was amazingly fearless in the water as she is with all things.

Brianna is going to finish up her gym credits over the summer. I think at this point her decision to go to a junior college and get her feet wet is a good idea. I was so happy to see her. Miss her all the time and hope she can come home for even a small part of the summer. Wish I had gotten more pictures!

It was strange spending that much time in the car with Ross, and at my mothers for that matter. We really don't have much to talk about any more. It was actually nice the night of the party at my mom's house. He was tipsy enough that he was affectionate with the kids. Emma looked surprised like she didn't quite know what do do when he hugged her and told her how much he loved her. I know he cares. Just has a hard time demonstrating it at times with three daughters.

Mom's house looks great. She has done a lot of work and it shows.
She was pleased that we found a praying mantis in her garden
for two days in a row. It is a good sign of a well balanced garden.
He was a neat little fella, climbing all over us and posing for pictures.

Driving up to mom's on the first day, we drove though St. Helena in Napa County. Wineries, wineries and more wineries. I would like to go back and explore. Without kids (I don't think they would get the same kick out of the architecture and wine tasting that I would)! The little GPS I got before we left worked beautifully.


Coming home we had some time to spend in San Francisco. I got some amazing pictures of the girls and swans at the Exploratorium. The hydrangeas in bloom on Lombard. The murals in the Mission District. AND.

We snacked at the most incredible bakery called Tartine. We split a Croque Monsieur, which is an open face sandwich made with country bread, bechamel, gruyere, thyme and pepper, topped with smoked Niman Ranch ham. Emma and Lauren were in heaven. It was lovely. Then we tasted something even more incredible. A Fragipane Croissant with brandy and almonds. Oh my! Positively sinful. The Mission District where the bakery is located would be a great place to people watch. I would love to sit and drink coffee on a Sunday morning, share some yummy pastries with Brad and enjoy a California morning.

We also dashed through Chinatown. I would have a lot of fun looking through the shops. The girls and I got silk dragonfly slippers for $5.00. What a bargain. And I found grapefruit incense. I like it.

The flight home was a red eye and boy were we exhausted when we got home. The kids of course slept in the car on the way home from the airport. I was not so lucky. It was muggy and sticky! Brad came up for pizza and to give hugs. I missed him a great deal. It felt good to be in my space.

The kids leave for Ireland in 3 weeks with Ross. They are both very excited.

Summer has truly begun. Lauren has graduated from Kindergarten and has told me she is now "officially" a First grader. That would make Emma "officially" a Fifth grader.

The girls are both excited to go to California, see my mom, see Brianna and swim in mom's pool (not necessarily in that order).

Brad made it back from Toledo safely. The allergies/cold that started on him last week turned out to be Strep. He had a fever and a more pronounced swollen glad on Wednesday . Thursday the MD did a quick strep. That's what it either was or became. So far I feel OK. Although I was exhausted last night and woke up achy this morning. Hoping it was just working around the house aches. Keeping an eye on the girls. They seem to be fine and had seen him last week and this week and so far so good.

We had a nasty oppressively hot day Thursday and once that blew through we were left with perfect Summer 70's. The weekend is promised gorgeous and I am looking forward to putzing around the house, exploring out and about a little bit and cooking Summer foods.

Saturday! Made it through the week. Brad made it safely to Toledo for his niece's baptism. He got himself a new toy for the trip. A GPS device for the car. It is one of the ones he was looking at for me, so this way he can play with it using his "professional" eye. If there are any idiosyncrasies he will find them. Then we can decide if I should look at another model or make or if this is the one for me.

My plans had been to run a few errands on the way home last night and come home and relax in a child-free house. But my friend Laurie sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet for drinks and snack. I had arrived home to normal sedate weather. Within minutes of receiving Laurie's text the wind kicked up considerably and the sky went black as tar. Thunder, lightning and driving rain. And then it was gone in about 5 minutes. Leaving behind a pink sky with some fluffy dark gray clouds. We met at Rock Bottom near the house for a few hours, sat at an outside table, people watched and talked about everything. Merlot for me (no Sideways comments from anybody!) and Mud In Your Eye pale wheat for her. A little calamari and really good homemade potato chips with a malt vinegar powder. Came home, talked to Brad for a few minutes on a bad cell signal and climbed into bed.

A bit about Laurie. Because it is a worthwhile story and she is an amazing woman. Laurie is 36 years old. She has 2 gorgeous girls Hannah (10) and Brenna (6)... they get on with Emma and Lauren really well. A little over a year and a half ago she went to her OB/GYN thinking she felt a lump in her breast. He did a breast exam and sent her on her way saying basically he felt nothing and did not feel it warranted a mammogram.

A couple months later she went back because the breast still felt "wrong". The physician grudgingly conceded that a mammogram was needed. The results of the mammogram did not get back to Laurie for several weeks, and this was only because she called. The nurse in the office (damn nurse) read her the top paragraph "dense, fibrous tissue with no masses visualised"... what the second paragraph included was the statement from the radiologist recommending "MRI or surgical consult" as further clarification. This was not told to Laurie.

At the end of last year her breast changed even more so. Becoming hard, red and warm. She was sent for a biopsy (a year after she first felt something was not right). The diagnosis was cancer. Ductal Carcinoma. She was sent for an oncology consult and chose and amazing doctor at Loyola Medical Center by the name of Ellen Gaynor. She is matter of fact and honest. We all liked her style immediately. As the diagnostic test results began to roll in. The end diagnosis was Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma with some Inflammatory Breast Carcinoma characteristics. Five tumors in all and because of the IBC no possibility of just removing the tumors and leaving the breast.

Laurie has completed 7 out of 8 cycles of chemotherapy (Adriamycin and Cytoxan for cycles 1-4 and Taxotere for cycles 5-8). She home born this all so well and is so strong. She looks more and more beautiful each day. I saw a magnet that said "Bald Chicks Rule" the other day and am putting together a basket for her.

A mastectomy is the next step. She has that consultation next week and this will most likely happen at the end of June or early July. And then 6 weeks of daily radiation when the mastectomy site has healed.

The point I want to make (in addition to how awe inspiring my good friend is) is do self checks regularly, know your body, be your OWN advocate. If something does not feel right and the first answer does not jive with how YOU feel and what your gut is telling you, do not be afraid to dig deeper, ask for second opinions, demand attention. Doctors are not the end all be all, and things do get missed, labs do get lost, egos and experience does play apart. So do not think you have to take the first word as the only word... there are always more words!

I am getting Brad a T-Shirt that says "Save Second Base" (he is the self proclaimed bo... never mind:)

Bella's Boyfriend

What a strange week. The holiday is throwing me off. I keep forgetting which day of the week we are on. The weather is a little "muggy" and draining. Lauren continues to set off like Marco Polo. She is fearless. And I have had the third of what I am sure will be many "there are bad people out there" talks.... thick-headed stubborn willful thing that she is.... hmmm.... where on Earth does that come from? I wonder... must be her father!

For those of you who have not looked at Emma's site... it is well worth it. That she is only 10 and creatively writing the wonderfully kooky things she does. It is fun and I get a kick out of looking at each new entry. Hers is linked from mine.

Heading out to California to see Brianna and my mother in a week. It has been too long since I have seen my mother and gets no less difficult that Brianna is not here for me to see and talk to every day. She is 18 now. Where has all the time gone? I remember the night I went into labor. I remember several nights before that watching Scarface and damp mopping the floor at 2am. I remember so much and have forgotten much too. Bittersweet.

Brad leaves for Ohio to see his family for a few days. He, too, has not been home in a while. I will miss him but am happy he gets to be surrounded by people who love him (and that he will get to showcase Mitch for the first time). Hopefully the weather will cooperate for safe travel and I will be relieved when he is back home safe and sound. Trying to keep what seems to be allergies from turning into a cold before he leaves. Hoping that is all it is. He dutifully takes the meds I task him with. He is a good man and loves me in all my moody glory (well, I am thinking he would prefer the glory part with no moody, but loves me nonetheless).

A quiet weekend with Bella for me. Her knee is holding it's own. Even with trying to keep up with Mitch in the backyard.

Tooth number two... OUT... she was very excited and the tooth faerie came as expected. $2 this time ($5 with the first tooth). The even neater thing is that she is sitting here in bed with me reading this out loud to me as I write it. That is more exciting than the tooth.

She has done really well in Kindergarten... and despite her fliberty gibbit ways was a really good attentive student all year... having made it into the first grade words by January...

She has an explorer's spirit... and her need to set off to conquer our neighborhood is a little nerve wracking at times... despite repeated talks about sticking close to home, she had no problem striking out for new adventures and even less problem coming home dirtier than I have ever seen her (and you all know how much dirty damage this girl can get up to). I belive she needs a Lojack... or maybe an "Invisible Fence" collar... oops Lauren went over a block too far.... Zap! I remember being the same way... walking miles and miles to the park once in third grade... never coming home until dark... but as we all know... times have changed!

The weather Saturday was a little cool and rainy... Sunday was gorgeous and today, for the holiday, is promised even nicer...

Brad and I made a Middle Eastern inspired dinner Saturday... hummus (he made and it was really good), cucumber and Greek yogurt sauce (I think neither of us will have any worries about vampires for about a year with all the garlic I put into it), grilled lamb and chicken for kabobs, pita and some really yummy grape leaves from the local ethnic market near his house.

Sunday we grilled more with the girls... London Broil and Italian bread with garlic, mushroom Brie and smoked salmon with red onion and cucumber... Emma liked the Brie until she found out the dreaded mushrooms were hiding in there. Brad cooked the steak perfectly...

His knowledge of computers is daunting and comforting at the same time... I got a soft verbal scolding for not having my wireless secured... and he promptly, deftly took care of it for me...

Lauren is bouncing up and down for breakfast (the girl never eats.... ever... malnourished practically... NOT). And then some weeding before it gets too warm... Lauren has some sunflowers to plant that they started growing at school. Hoping those will continue on... I think she will get a kick out of how tall they get and how big the flowers grow!

Izza-Bella...
the
other
"child"
and
just
as
big
a
ham
as
her
"sisters"

What a nice weekend! The weather was perfect on Saturday. Took the girls for a walk along the river in Naperville. They had fun calling out all the different things they saw in the water: a golf ball, a cell phone, a fish... Lauren climbed the big hill by the carillon bell tower and just flitted from place to place like a butterfly. They met a "man" and his greyhound. They liked both the man and his dog. Which makes me happy.

Had dinner with my man. We wandered Caputo's Italian market for about an hour... picking and choosing yummy antipasti type foods: ended up with prociuto and melon, eggplant salad, olives, cheese, cubed Italian meats, bruccetta tomatoes and grilled Italian bread loaded with garlic... it was complexly simple. And a nice glass of Cabernet matched up well. He made really good espresso which we complimented with lemon oil.

Sunday was a little chillier, and we started our day with a hearty Mexican breakfasts... chilequiles for me and huevos rancheros for him. A little bit of Sunday paper reading and a day of retail exploration. IKEA... saw a couple things there I would like including a beautiful plum colored comforter and some larger house plants... I think he was amused by the sudden burst of coffee hyperactivity that disappeared as suddenly as it arrived. Then we looked at Bass Pro Shop... never would have thought to go there, but we had fun looking... I still think I should have purchased the lime green baseball cap that said "Kiss my Bass" in bling sequins...

Sunday night another nice dinner of steak and a goat cheese salad... more dangerously good grilled garlic bread... and some dark chocolate...

A fire in the fireplace and the Simpsons... an early and restful night sleep... it was a lovely day.

Today the weather was glorious as well... need to settle in and accept that responsible working adults need to be indoors working even when the day is calling to come out and soak up the suns rays and play...

Tomorrow I turn 40. On some levels it is a little sad. But when I look at what I have... 3 beautiful girls... the possibility of love... and looking damn good for my age... it's not so bad.
I guess I should fess up that it makes me feel good to have people tell me that I don't look anywhere near 39... it will sound even better when they say I don't look near 40... moisturize, moisturize, moisturize... and maybe drinking a bit more water than I do...

I was so excited. Emma
brought a stack
of her artwork home.
Can't wait to get these all
framed and protected to
look at over and over.

I have been waiting for months to have this cat come home. I saw it when I went to her parent teacher conference in the Fall... this will be framed and placed with her other artwork on the wall. She amazes me!

To Blog or Not to Blog... THAT is the question...

To begin... you must take into consideration that you live a life less ordinary. A life that someone else would want to read about... not so sure about that... but the therapeutic benefits of self expression far outweigh the exhibitionist ones... or do they?

Today in itself was a therapy session... the weather was Heaven sent... and the need to be outside with my skin caressed and warmed by the sun was acute. Each time the weather changes from warm to cold back to warm again... I find myself with renewed cabin fever.

I love to drive with the sun streaming through the sun roof warming my cheeks... music loud and passionate... I am not afraid to sing at the top of my lungs... 4 windows open... fellow commuters be damned! Ryan Shaw is my new musical curiosity... bluesy, sexy, fun.

Was today an ordinary day? Not really... it began with soft stretches and coffee in bed... and 2 dogs bounding through the room and over the bed completely oblivious of size or pain inflicted.

No, the day began well... with a sense of contentment and lasted throughout the day.

There is a new fella in my life... to say more than that at this point to me seems like flirting with disaster. Or how the Native Americans feel about their pictures being taken and stealing their soul... All I can say... is I was not expecting him... yet here he is... and I am so happy he is there... and time will tell...

He fuels the many smiles that make up my day.

Our dogs seem to get on... the kids (mine, he has none) will come later down the road.

Enough for today. A Saturday filled with Emma and Lauren, perhaps a little mini-golf at Emma's request. Even more sunshiny goodness promised tomorrow. And then a Sunday of relaxation and hand-holding and dogs :)